what a joke.

A lot of things had happened this week. Good stuffs, bad stuffs. If one thing i learned this week, it would be: NEVER TRY TO FIT IN. Firstly, I must say that maybe i have been too complacent with my life right now, i actually allow myself to be ONE BIG JOKE. What the hell was i thinking? Hanging out with a bunch of "friends" who think that what i say dont matter? Who has friends that make u feel bad about urself? WELL, I DO. In fact, i have quite a few.

Honestly,im just too tired being nice to people. They always assume they are BETTER than you. What kind of a sick mentality is that? Well, making people look bad DOES NOT MAKE U ANY BETTER. I have said this few times, but many dont believe me. When YOU fake it, IT SHOWS. When YOU brag, IT SHOWS. When YOU lie, IT SHOWS. WHY? BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT AN EFF-ING OSCAR ACTOR - that is why!

Secondly, i also learned that at the end of the day.. I only have myself to rely on. So, i might as well just trust my instinct and go for whatever i want. I need to learn how to have more faith in myself because all this self-doubting is SERIOUSLY NOT HELPING ME. Especially, at times like this. I need to focus on my goal and surround myself with the right kind of people. What can i say.. i probably have been hanging out with this people i called "friends" for far too long, and their thrash-talking has somehow inflicted some serious damage on my self-esteem. WELL, U KNOW WHAT? i had enough. YOU can go find some new "friends" and fuck their life up, because that is what YOU do best, right? haha, WHAT A JOKE.