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My friends think im bitter because Im always too careful. Well, at least I dont go around and breaking people's heart. Oh, hi there? Sorry I havent been blogging for quite sometimes. Well, I dont want to give excuses, but really... I've been busy. FOR REAL. hahaa

so, whats up with mellow-dramatic intro? To be honest, I dont like my state of mind now. Its been too caught up with something unnecessary. I think im not really enjoying my life now to the fullest.

Now, let me worry about my "middle-age" crisis on my own. On a different note, I think sometimes, we overlook the small things in life. We think that people should treat us nicely because it is what they should do. Where does the expectation come from? I reckon, it is embedded in our upbringing. Growing up, im sure at some point our mom would say "look at anak sipolan sipolan, bagus jer. belajar rajin, sopan..x mcm awak." Now, this is just an example. My mom would go the extra mile on comparing, but let me spare u the details. Finally, we end up EXPECTING something from someone when we have grown up.

I personally hate expectation. I especially hate it when people expect me to do something, or say something, or behave in a certain way according to their ideals. I have no problem saying NO at all to people. So, that means Im okay not to living up to their idealistic expectation. Oh, dont get me wrong.. for all you know, my expectation on myself surpasses urs so dont confuse me not being able to live up ur expectation to failing. I figure things out on my own, at my own terms.

Also, I dont get it why some people would expect me to understand them better? The feeling has to be mutual. I dont see the point why i should try to understand someone when I dont even see YOU trying to do the same. What is wrong with YOU? U think the world revolves around YOU? Even if it does, excuse me miss.. I have a rocket to catch. I'd rather leave for Mars and die there out of oxygen rather than being suffocated by you here. Please lar.. . dont you dare talk about MY ego when u dont even realise that urs is as big if not bigger than mine. Look, at least I know, and IM NOT EMBARRASSED to admit to that! but, DO YOU? I think u need to sit down with urself and have a talk with IT!

Sorry, I need to vessel out my frustration into this before it consumes me. I feel much better after writing (blogging) it down. All im saying is, please dont expect something from someone when u are not exactly giving something back. and ur cheap act? U can keep them for some high-school drama production, because im keeping it real baby!

p/s: "oh, sorry.. im just being me. im (insert ur own adjective)." This is not a LICENSE to do what u'r doing. its not even cute. whats the point of being urself when u r hurting others emotionally and physically? dumbass.