things to do. things.

i have a lot to achieve in life, and the list goes on forever. but there are some very important stuffs i can see myself doing (because it would be damn i dont..) in the future..

first, with God's willing.. i wanna have my own kids. and i aspire to be the greatest dad ever. =)

secondly, i wanna be around for my family more often. i wanna be there to celebrate their success, i wanna be there at their lowest point of life, sharing their tears and joys. oh, i would know better than anyone else that when everything else fails, i know i can always come home and cry and not be judged for the things ive done.

thirdly, i wanna be around for my friend for as long as they need me. i would not wanna miss their weddings, baby showers, anniversaries, ouh and graduations for anything!! (God's willing, i shall be there). i dare say, the world that ive known today would not be the same without them. =)

fourthly, i wanna be successful in life and give back to my parents. i wanna build a stable career and live life to the fullest! i will make sure that my little brother will get proper education and the means to be successful, and if he still doesnt make it, i would personally go kick his ass and make him sorry for letting everyone down!
other than that, i would want my parents to enjoy their lives more and not worry about us too much. i would want to send them to Mecca or put them on vacation or something, because i know they could use one. with that, i should NOT make it a habit to ask for money from them anymore when i get to 25 (yeah, 25.. u heard me right..hahaa..)

all being said, a reality hits me. one of my cousins of the same age just lost his father.. that sure made me thinking? what if i dont have until 25 to be with them? so, i figured the best way to achieve points no 2 and 4 is to do well (VERY WELL) in my bachelor degree, and start working ASAP! so, nvm my plan to pursue master degree or whatever. i can always go back to uni at the age of 27 or l8er once ive given if not many, ample happiness to my parents. at least i wouldnt have any regret not being able to should anything happen *God's forbid.

besides, I KNOW the only reason why i am ever so eager to pursue master degree is to prove to people that i CAN do it, and i am not stupid? well, i guess the time sure has healed everything (nvm the details).

along the way, i learned that there is no need to make a point. if u are good, then u just know it (i never said im good, mind you..). i dont know, where have all this kind of attitude (the need to prove to people that im no fool?) get developed from? i guess, its only natural when uve been put to compete with the best. BUT, no matter what i do, deep down I know I WAS NEVER UP TO THEIR LEVEL, EVER.

but hey, i figured all is well as everyone has their own right place. so, to any of you out there who find it difficult to compete on the academic ground, no worries. u are good at something else, u just have to figure them out! everyone is good at something. TRUST ME, OH I WOULD KNOW. =)