I NEED TO GROW UP.

YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE UNTIL ITS GONE

yeah, darn true. I had to learn it the hard way. An amazing person like you would probably just arrive once every 100 years. I cant believe I let my fear to commitment gets the best of me and I literally let you slipped away from my hands because I was busy attending to what-ifs questions with myself.

Im sorry. I dont want to see u get hurt, especially by ME. The thought that it is just possible for me to wake up one day and freak out about the whole relationship thing, and potentially walking away from you is completely UNACCEPTABLE. I cant afford to break your heart. You have been everything but ordinary to me, and what we had was REAL. I was really happy with you, and I wanna remember that as it is.

The moment you uttered THE words, I felt like the whole world came crashing me. Yeah, call me dramatic, but I cant lie about how I feel. Thats when I realised I had just lost you. At the same time, I am ashamed that somehow I felt a sense of relief now that the pressure is off my shoulder. I dont want to fail you, and now.. I dont see how is that even possible.

Thank you for being so understanding all these while. Give me time to figure things out on my own term. Should you happen to meet some new guy along the way, and I still havent come to my senses yet, then go ahead. I would just be smiling on my own, thinking about all the good time we had, and knowing that YOU are happy out there with someone else. I dont know for sure when will I change, but I do know one thing: IM NOT WORTH WAITING. Thank you boo- I LOVE YOU.